Sometimes Sleeping Is Self-Care

Sleep? Dreams? What's That?

People used to be skeptical when I'd say I don't dream. They would respond with, "You just don't remember them." I would say, "No, when I dream, I remember that I had a dream. I don't always remember what it was about, but I remember that I dreamed."

Well, guess what? I was right. I don't dream much. In our almost 17 years of marriage, I've had, maybe, 15-20 dreams. Most of them, I remember vividly. The others, I just remember that I dreamed.

Last August, I did a home sleep study. I never received a phone call regarding the results. I wasn't even sure which doctor had ordered the sleep study because it took almost four months for me to get a call about doing the sleep study. I had my suspicions, but they weren't confirmed until recently.

I was finally able to get my results from another doctor, because it was done through the same hospital system as this doctor. I also found out who had ordered the study. It wasn't my doctor's name on the study, but it was a doctor from the same clinic.

Swallowing My Pride So I Can Finally Sleep

I'd previously had issues with this clinic's office staff, so I hadn't had a follow up appointment in months. I finally broke down and made the appointment. Miraculously, I was able to get in very quickly, within a week.

I went to this appointment and brought up the sleep study. They pulled it up and said I needed to see a sleep doctor. The sleep doctors are in the same clinic. Initially, I was going to have to come back another day. Then the sleep doctor found out I lived over an hour away and they were able to squeeze me in to see her.

I get to pick up my CPAP machine on the 20th of this month. Everyone I've mentioned it to has said it will be a life-changer.

I hope so.

Can I Just Sleep For 40 Years Like Rip Van Winkle?

For years, I've woken up from sleeping for any length of time feeling like I hadn't slept at all. Sometimes, I'll feel rejuvenated for a couple of hours after a nap, but even that doesn't last long.

I spend most of the week driving about an hour away for every single appointment me or the kids have. I always need a nap as soon as I get home, or, if it's really bad, I need a nap before I even start driving home.

This makes for very unproductive days. I've been tired for a very long time. I used to be able to drive the whole 12 hours to visit my Grandma. Now, I can barely drive for an hour.

I'll have to get used to wearing a mask to bed. Shucks, I'll have to get used to wearing a mask, period. I hate having things on my face. Any time I've had to use an oxygen mask and I've been awake the whole time it was on, I was so uncomfortable, and, as counter-intuitive as it seems, I couldn't breathe.

Luckily, I know a respiratory therapist. He gave me some tips on how to fit the mask and how to get used to wearing it.

Lessons From Not Sleeping

I've been learning a lot of things the hard way. This time, I've learned to really push whatever the complaint is when I go to the doctor. It was my endocrinologist that finally suggested I get a sleep study done (she isn't the one who ordered the test, but she suggested it) because all of my vitamin levels were fine. I shouldn't have been so tired all the time.

I've had several doctors tell me that I needed to lose weight. One doctor didn't give a crap about all the stress I was under and was very rude in telling me that I had to lose weight. I had to eat right and I had to exercise.

I tried to tell her that exercising never gave me energy. Luckily, that doctor is no longer with the clinic and I have a way more awesome and compassionate doctor. It never gave me that extra "boost" to get things done that a lot of people talked about all the time. Others always felt so energized from working out.

I just got more tired.

I needed a nap.

Most days, I've been able to barely make it through the day without a nap. Some days, though, a nap is desperately needed.

Sleep And Self-Care

The lesson from this: BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE!!!

When you go to the doctor, talk about those things that you feel are important. Go with your gut. I've been trying to say for years that I was just so tired all the time.

First, it was chalked up to my non-existent thyroid and low Vitamin D levels.

Another doctor chalked it up to having six kids.

Yet, another doctor blamed it on me not getting to sleep early enough at night.

The real cause? I couldn't breathe. My body can't restore itself if it isn't getting enough oxygen and has too much carbon dioxide.

While I was waiting for the sleep doctor, I was looking at the educational information, about Obstructive Sleep Apnea, that was sitting on the table in front of me.

This was one of the informational sheets that was on the table.

Consequences Of Not Sleeping

I quickly identified the ones that have affected me the most from the list on the right. The most significant consequences that I have endured from OSA are the Mood Disturbances, Daytime Sleepiness, Obesity, and GERD. The GERD, of course, is annoying, but the rest have affected my life a ton.

Granted, some of the mood things have always been an issue for me, but they haven't been as severe as they've been for the last few years.

I'm looking forward to getting some sleep.

I mean some real quality sleep.

The kind of sleep that leaves you feeling rested and rejuvenated.

I'm looking forward to experiencing this life-change that everyone is talking about.

What does this all have to do with self-care?

If I can get some good sleep, I might actually take even better care of myself.

Looking forward

I know I don't have many followers (really, like four people read this blog) but I've made a goal to post every week. I'll keep you all posted on how the CPAP machine works out for me.

Goal for this week 

Clean off nightstand. I'm going to need a place to put the machine.