Crap hits the fan
Yep, the crap hit the fan while it was on. Who would've thought that me starting my own recovery process would result in crap hitting the fan? Really, I think I just realized that I was worth something, and that the feelings that I'd experienced for all those years were real and valid. I finally realized that all the messages that I'd been getting from people around me, about how worthless and horrible I was, were completely wrong. I deserved to be treated with respect. I deserved to be treated as though I mattered. I deserved to be number one, numero uno in my husband's life. I was tired of being number five or six, or whatever I was. It was hard to tell what ranking I had in his life because I was getting mixed messages from him. He would say that I was important to him, and that I was the most important person in his life, but his actions would tell a completely different story. I've come to realize that, for years, I would make excuses in my head for his behav