Finding My Voice
It's been a long time since, but I used to have a voice. It's been silenced for so long that it's been a struggle to find it. I've been searching for it for a while now.
Everyone has a voice. Sometimes, it gets buried among all the stresses and pressures of life. Sometimes, it gets taken away by those we love. Sometimes, we hide it in order to protect it or ourselves. Sadly, some people never find that voice again. Lately, I've been trying so hard to pull mine out from under the rubble of what remains of my shattered life.
Among the rubble, I've found bits and pieces over the last few weeks. Some of the pieces are battered and bruised. Other pieces are ragged and thin, but I'm finding them. I'm pulling them out and mending them as best I can. Some of them are permanently damaged, but usable. Other pieces have been completely restored. Some of them are going to continue to require maintenance until they can maintain themselves.
What is my voice? It's my writing and speaking out. I used to speak out all the time. Not publicly, but among friends, coworkers, neighbors, even strangers. For a long time, I felt silence was required. For a long time, I didn't know I needed to be using my voice at all. Since finding the pieces, I've been using my writing to speak out as often as I can. Unfortunately, I'm not quite ready to completely share my voice with the world. What am I ready for?
I am ready to write about the issues that have plagued me for years. I am ready to write about the issues that continue to plague society. I am ready to write to change the world. I am not ready to say that these things happened to me. I am not ready to publicly declare what happened to me. Why am I not ready? Fear.
I've discovered that fear is at the root of hesitation. Fear is at the root of judgment. Fear is a the root of many feelings, and fear keeps us down. I'm working up the courage to face that fear head-on, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm working up the courage to be bold and speak truth. I'm working up the courage to let my story be told. I'm working up the courage to let my voice be known as mine.
I'm not going to overcome this fear on my own. God has had a huge hand in restoring my voice. God will give me the courage, when I am ready, to let my voice be known. God has been leading me to the people who can help me find that courage. God has been leading me to the people who will stand with me when I am ready to claim my voice. My voice will be resurrected and the world will know it's mine, when the time is right.
For now, I will continue to be an unknown voice. I will continue to speak truth in small circles. I will continue to mend my voice and I will continue to let my voice be heard in small ways.
When you are ready, you will be able to find your voice again. You will know what that voice is and where it should be shared. In the meantime, think about what your voice used to be. Was it through art? Was it through writing? Was it through music? Think about it and, when the time is right, you will find it again. You will dig and dig and dig until you find it. You will find it under the rubble and you will pick up the pieces and put it back together. You will continue to maintain it until it can hold its own. Your voice will be heard, just like mine will. When you're ready, the world will know your voice is yours. When I'm ready, the world will know my voice is mine.
Everyone has a voice. Sometimes, it gets buried among all the stresses and pressures of life. Sometimes, it gets taken away by those we love. Sometimes, we hide it in order to protect it or ourselves. Sadly, some people never find that voice again. Lately, I've been trying so hard to pull mine out from under the rubble of what remains of my shattered life.
Among the rubble, I've found bits and pieces over the last few weeks. Some of the pieces are battered and bruised. Other pieces are ragged and thin, but I'm finding them. I'm pulling them out and mending them as best I can. Some of them are permanently damaged, but usable. Other pieces have been completely restored. Some of them are going to continue to require maintenance until they can maintain themselves.
What is my voice? It's my writing and speaking out. I used to speak out all the time. Not publicly, but among friends, coworkers, neighbors, even strangers. For a long time, I felt silence was required. For a long time, I didn't know I needed to be using my voice at all. Since finding the pieces, I've been using my writing to speak out as often as I can. Unfortunately, I'm not quite ready to completely share my voice with the world. What am I ready for?
I am ready to write about the issues that have plagued me for years. I am ready to write about the issues that continue to plague society. I am ready to write to change the world. I am not ready to say that these things happened to me. I am not ready to publicly declare what happened to me. Why am I not ready? Fear.
I've discovered that fear is at the root of hesitation. Fear is at the root of judgment. Fear is a the root of many feelings, and fear keeps us down. I'm working up the courage to face that fear head-on, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm working up the courage to be bold and speak truth. I'm working up the courage to let my story be told. I'm working up the courage to let my voice be known as mine.
I'm not going to overcome this fear on my own. God has had a huge hand in restoring my voice. God will give me the courage, when I am ready, to let my voice be known. God has been leading me to the people who can help me find that courage. God has been leading me to the people who will stand with me when I am ready to claim my voice. My voice will be resurrected and the world will know it's mine, when the time is right.
For now, I will continue to be an unknown voice. I will continue to speak truth in small circles. I will continue to mend my voice and I will continue to let my voice be heard in small ways.
When you are ready, you will be able to find your voice again. You will know what that voice is and where it should be shared. In the meantime, think about what your voice used to be. Was it through art? Was it through writing? Was it through music? Think about it and, when the time is right, you will find it again. You will dig and dig and dig until you find it. You will find it under the rubble and you will pick up the pieces and put it back together. You will continue to maintain it until it can hold its own. Your voice will be heard, just like mine will. When you're ready, the world will know your voice is yours. When I'm ready, the world will know my voice is mine.
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