The Invisible Stranger

Does he see me?
For 16 years I've been right in front of him and he hasn't even seen me. 
I haven't been hiding. 
I've been open to him. 
I've been an open book. 

Does he know me?
I've shown him the funniest pages.
I've shown him the ugliest pages.
I've shown him the sweetest pages.
I've shown him the most vulnerable pages.

Does he care about me?
I've cared.
I've trusted. 
I've loved.
I've been honest. 

He doesn't know me. 
In spite of my being right in front of him,
In spite of my being an open book, 
He doesn't even know who I am.

He doesn't see me.
I've laughed. 
I've cried.
I've yelled.
I've loved. 
Still he hasn't seen me.

All those feelings of invisibility have been confirmed. 
I wasn't crazy. 
I'm not crazy.
I'm not too sensitive.

He never saw me. 
He never knew me.

It's hard to believe he ever wanted to see me.
It's hard to believe he ever wanted to know me. 

Now,
I wait.
I watch.
I trust. 

It's hard to trust when he continues to lie. 
It's hard to trust when he continues to not see
It's hard to trust when he continues to not know.

He's blind to what's gone on around him. 
He hasn't seen the hurt that he's caused.
He hasn't seen the hurt that others have caused. 
He hasn't seen the pain and agony of his choices.

He says he can see, but he still doesn't see.
He says he knows me, but he still doesn't know me.

If he knew me, he would have seen me.
If he saw me, he would know me. 
If he knew me and saw me, he would have made different choices.

17 years and I'm still a stranger to him.
17 years and I'm still invisible to him.

I want him to see me.
I want him to know me.
I want him to love me.

Is that too much to ask?
Will it ever happen?
How long do I have to wait?

Can I wait?

I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being patient.
I'm tired of the lying. I'm tired of trusting.

I'm tired.

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