Picking Up the Peaces

Consequences come in all shapes and sizes and from all different directions. One consequence that I'm dealing with now is from not following my "gut" over the years. I noticed that my son had ADHD-like behaviors and tendencies years ago. I always thought I should get him evaluated so he could have a diagnosis. My husband, on the other hand, seemed to be in denial. I always thought it was because my husband felt, "If my son has it, then I have it, so he can't have it." Why did I believe this? Because, over the years, I would mention a specific behavior, or self-control or focus issue that my son had, and my husband would say, "He doesn't have ADHD, I was just like that at his age," or, "He's just like other boys. I know because I had those same behaviors when I was that age." What was I supposed to conclude after years of these comments? He would also say things like, "I don't want him labeled and medicated." I trie...

Consequences. This has been on my mind a lot recently. A couple of weeks ago, something happened and I realized that I was sick and tired of having to deal with the consequences of my husband's actions and inaction. By inaction, I mean things that he was supposed to do or said he was going to do, but he didn't follow through and complete them. These things have cost me a lot of time, usually wasted, and our family money. With my husband's addiction, he has faced little to no consequences for his actions. Mostly, he's gotten things like, "Read your scriptures more, say your prayers more, go to the temple more." Here's the big issue with being told this: Those are not consequences, and HE WAS ALREADY DOING THOSE THINGS!!! Yet, he couldn't seem to stop acting out. When I started setting boundaries, some things started to change. Boundaries come with consequences. He started improving in some areas. In his follow through, though, nothing changed. He wa...